The Coen brothers are responsible for some highly acclaimed movies over the years. They've won multiple Oscars, they've made cult classics and mainstream classics, they've pretty much done whatever they've wanted. While I admire their career and their penchant for creating wacky characters and movies, I've decided I don't like them. The only movie of theirs that I'd say I truly enjoyed watching the whole way through was Fargo. Everything else just kind of left me feeling lost or disappointed.

Burn After Reading made me feel even worse. It was the second part of a movie hop and now I wish I could have seen Righteous Kill, Traitor, Babylon AD, Disaster Movie, basically anything else. I mean, sure, it's fun to see Brad Pitt play another off-beat character and Frances McDormand is always a delight, but the whole plot of the movie was just senseless and ridiculous. The ending just about killed me too. It was one of those classic "No way it's ending here, is it?" "It is!?" Skip this movie, seriously.

Labels: D, Movies

Jet Li and Jackie Chan together at last. It's the equivalent of an Arnold and Sly pairing in the 80s. Sadly, this film was more like Schwarzenegger and Stallone making a movie together now.

Why watch a semi-drunken style Jackie Chan when you can go rent the real thing? Why bother watching Jet Li in this when he's superior in almost every other (Chinese) movie he's made? The title is misleading too. There's nothing forbidden about the kingdom at all.

The main character, played by Michael Angarano of Sky High fame (who I swore was Shia LaBeouf for a second), seems to waltz quite easily into this fantasy land as well as the enemy's fortress at the end of the movie. Seriously, nobody stopped him at all. It's similar to the packaging on the back of Fiji Water bottles. Look, it's impermeable! Wait a second...

Along the same lines, this movie is almost unwatchable but hey, I had to hop it anyway because it's Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Gotta show some support.

Labels: D, Movies

When you movie hop, sometimes you just wander into anything that sounds remotely interesting. Vantage Point had a decent premise and promised to be entertaining right? Well, if you're watching for free, it's hard to complain right? As James quipped to me halfway through, this movie should have been called "29 Minutes."

While the differing viewpoints are Roshomon-like, it adds nothing to the exposition and in fact, there were so many "let's rewind to the beginning" sequences that the audience was audibly groaning and hooting by the fifth or sixth one. There was really no reason for multiple perspectives except to provide a catchy hook on which to hang a typical action thriller.

Well, based on that standard, the action is unbelievable and over the top, Forest Whitaker is hilariously overacting, plot twists are easily telegraphed, and the Americans win. What else do you need to know?

Labels: D, Movies

Hey kids, interested in gratuitious nudity and violence? Have I got the double feature for you! Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007) and Rambo (2008) both have problems galore and neither are going to be worth your time -- unless you like gratuitiousness I guess.

Before the Devil's synopsis sounded like it would be good and with Ethan Hawke and Philip Seymour Hoffman around, how could it be horrible? I forgot to account for the fact that 83-year old Sidney Lumet (12 Angry Men, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon) would be trying to "mix things up" by showing events out of order and with strange cuts. The movie lacks rhythm, sense, and after you figure out what's going on -- which isn't hard to do -- all tension is gone from the film.

Albert Finney's slightly open mouthed gape bothers the heck out of me, I'm sorry. The only real reason to watch the film is Marisa Tomei. I can't believe she chose to bare it all for this piddling role.

Rambo actually suffers from the same problem. I was hoping for a greatest hits of John Rambo, kind of like how Stallone re-did Rocky. Give me the headband tying, give me the knife in the sheath, give me crazy. Instead, we get a watered down Rambo who does very little actual killing. Of course, the movie has tons of way over the top killing (by the villains) in order to make up for it. If you're waiting for that one big chill moment when you can cheer like the good old days, rent Rambo 2 instead.

Labels: D, Movies

Into the Wild
Christopher McCandless graduated from college, gave away his savings, and set off to traipse around the United States in an attempt to escape consumerism and become one with nature. Inspired by Henry David Thoreau and Jack London, he also subsequently joined them as RIP two years after he disappeared.

You could look at the whole thing as a touching tale of a young man finding himself or as a spoiled kid who died because of his arrogance. I lean toward the latter despite the movie heavily promoting the inspiring version. While the film has been getting all sorts of great reviews, I felt it was a bit dry and hardly revelationary -- or insightful. Good cinematography though.

The Golden Compass
Fine, I only watched the back half of the movie (the better half so I'm told) but if the entire thing is anything like what I experienced, it's no great adventure flick. In fact, the entire film seems stilted and aside from the very cool snow bears, there wasn't much we hadn't seen before in either Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia -- neither of which I was in love with in the first place. While this first movie will undoubtedly extend into a franchise, I can't see it measuring up as a classic.

I'm halfway through the book too (and have been for months) but I can't seem to commit to that magic either, although the series is always touted as a classic. I guess I'll give the book another go when I can. The movie? I'll pass.

Enchanted
Would you believe that out of all these movies, Enchanted was the best one? I mocked somebody at work for printing out preview passes to watch this; turns out he was just ahead of the curve. Walking out after the magic of "The End," I just felt happy inside. Happily ever after as it were. The film mocks Disney's classic stories but in a really funny way. The mix of animation and live action is done really well and it's refreshing to see the Disney princess tale given a new spin. Seriously, it's good.

Check out this NY Times story, "The Line Between Homage and Parody," for an interesting behind the scenes.

Labels: B, C, D, Movies

This movie's a classic, or so I'm told. I thought watching it in 3-D would be a life altering experience. Final verdict? Not so much. The novelty of 3-D was cool but afterwards I was told that most of it wasn't in 3-D anyway. I kept on hoping for more things to happen. And the songs need some help. Get Tim Rice on the phone. Still, the production design was awesome and I can see how this was pretty mind blowing in 1993. I prefer Wallace & Gromit.

Labels: D, Movies

I heard from semi-reputable sources that Ratatouille was surprisingly good. After I watched it the only surprise I got was how mediocre it was. Sure it's a Pixar film but Pixar films written/directed by Brad Bird need to come with a caveat: they suck. Incredibles was pretty bad (with some good moments) and Ratatouille is worse than that. Put it this way: We sat directly behind an obnoxious lady laugher but after the film trailers she didn't laugh once. That's how un-entertaining this film was. 'Nuff said.

Labels: D, Movies

Usually romantic comedy movies like this have the problem of the actors being way too old for their roles. Adam Brody has the opposite problem; he looks like he blends in with the high schoolers around him and it's tough to picture him as a 26-year old (even if he actually is).

The movie also compounds the problem by not giving us enough motivation behind anything Brody's character does. The movie has a few "nice/interesting/cute" moments but mainly, like the family of blondes across the street (who do admittedly carry the show), the film suffers from a lack of depth.
-Ripe Tomatoes-

Labels: D, Movies